How to Ask Someone to be a Reference or Write a Letter of Recommendation
When it comes to summer plans or post-graduation plans, consider yourself to be a completed puzzle, and you are trying to give a job recruiter as many pieces to the puzzle as possible. One piece of that puzzle is your experiences detailed on your resume, your cover letter/personal statement, your personality in an interview (or tone in writing), and the references you provide. The recruiter will then compare your puzzle to the other puzzles (i.e., the other candidates they are considering) and then decide who to hire or accept into the program.
Preparing for a job or filling out graduate school applications is particularly relevant right now because many students are currently participating in internships or jobs. An important goal during that work experience is to find someone to serve as a reference or write a letter of recommendation in the future. A job can provide students a critical opportunity to find an individual who is outside of their school network that could speak on their behalf and attest to their work ethic, job performance, and overall skill set. Although it may seem early, you will be elated to have options in the future for this purpose.
A reference can provide a potential employer or graduate school with an honest first-hand description of what it is like to work with you. Your reference can give an unfiltered opinion while the potential employer asks pointed questions about your skills and personality fit for their office. Often if a potential employer is between two final candidates, your references will be how they determine which candidate to select.
Clearly, strong references are imperative to have on a well-constructed job or school application. In order to have a strong reference, there are important factors you need to consider prior to asking someone to be a reference. Also, you might not even know how to go about asking someone to be a reference for you. Below you can find my tips for selecting a reference.
How to Choose the Right Person to be a Reference
Choosing a person to write you a reference letter can be a difficult process as it is not always clear who is the best person from a previous job or other experience to speak about your accomplishments, your personality, and your potential. To help you with making this determination, I have provided a brief list of considerations.
Who is a professional that knows your personality traits the best?
Who have you told your professional goals and aspirations?
Who are your former supervisors in the experiences you have had outside the classroom? (Consider things like extracurricular involvement, research opportunities, summer jobs, internships, field placement, or campus jobs)
Who has seen you grow and develop my professional skills or as an academic?
What are important qualities or experiences that you have had that you want to share with the recruiters from an outside perspective?
Who would give you a glowing recommendation?
Who can write well to impress a recruiter?
Who would be willing and capable of talking on the phone if a recruiter were to contact them?
Steps to Have a Strong Reference or Letter of Recommendation
1. Prepare for a meeting.
Update your resume to bring to the meeting and give it to your potential recommender so they can reference it as they are writing their letter.
2. Ask to meet with your potential recommender for a conversation
In the meeting, you want to talk about your immediate plans post-graduation and future goals. You also want to explain to them why they may be a great reference for you. You can specifically reference both the character traits, professional skills, and work products you think they can best articulate that would impress recruiters and hiring managers.
3. During this conversation, ask them to serve as a reference.
Asking someone to be a reference for you can feel awkward, but it’s really easy. For example, you can say to your potential reference, “You have seen me as a leader in my executive board role and I think you would be able to speak to my ability to be organized and serve on a team. With this in mind, would you be willing to serve as a reference?”
4. If necessary, ask them to review drafts of the letter.
Sometimes it may be necessary to ask your reference if you can review the letter before it is finalized. In this circumstance, you can be assured that the letter both meets your expectations and describes all of the points you want to see.
Asking to review drafts also ensures that the letter is high quality. It could be damaging to your application if one of the letters you submitted was lackluster.
Asking to review drafts also provides you an opportunity to ensure your references do not all highlight the same traits, qualities, or experiences you had.
5. Thank them!
A handwritten thank you note and gift card (think between $5-$15 for coffee) is a very nice gesture and one they would surely appreciate.
If you don’t have their address, you can always send them a personalized email.
6. Update them!
As you move forward with the application process, make sure you keep in touch with your references, especially if you want to ask them to be a reference again in the future. You can update them by telling them about your current job, jumping on a Zoom call or phone call or meeting in person for coffee or lunch for a life update.
Post-Bachelors School Recommendation Tips
When applying to graduate school or Ph.D. programs, there are unique requirements and parameters that may be important to keep in mind that are different from a phone or email reference for a job or internship. These tips below can help guide you during the Master’s, Ph.D., or post-baccalaureate application process when it comes to recommendations.
Provide these contacts with your generic personal statement and resume or CV.
Have a conversation that discusses your goals, what you are applying to, and your interest in pursuing these academic fields, including long-term career goals. Your reference may be able to highlight skills, experiences, and your qualities that align with this information.
Confirm the minimum amount of recommendations you need in total and the number of reference letters or references that you can submit beyond that.
Check the application website to see if they have any requirements for who to select. For example, I was required to have someone with a Ph.D. for one specific master’s program recommendation, whereas the other programs I applied for wanted someone who was a teacher in a course I completed.
Search if there are specific questions each individual should answer in a written statement. Some programs will have very pointed questions for someone to answer.
Is there a website with a form for each individual to fill? If so, does this get sent only after you finish applying? Are all of the questions rankings of skills? Is there a spot to upload a letter, or not?
Post-Bachelors Job Hunt Reference Tips
Provide these contacts with a copy of your master/generic resume.
Have a conversation about your goals, what you are applying to, and tell them what they can speak to specifically. They may be able to highlight skills, experiences, and your qualities.
Follow up this exact conversation with an email reiterating this information sending a digital version of your resume, and the PDF of any job description that offers you an interview.
Your references should be from different experiences. For example, one reference can be a professor and the other can be a former manager. Having references from multiple experiences can provide a more complete view of who you are.
If you are aware of the method of how references will be contacted, such as an email or phone call, inform your reference of this information.
If you are told your references will be contacted, let them know. At this point, re-send them the job description and remind them why you asked them to be a reference for you. If there is a projected timeline, share that information as well.
The most important part of having a reference is to keep them updated. Let them know the outcome of your interview for the graduate school application process. Check-in with them throughout your time in that opportunity. Let them know if your goals have changed, ask them for professional development ideas, discuss your work with them, and maintain that connection.
Set a reminder on your calendar to reach out to your references and recommenders. Send them an email, or, even better, if you are local, go grab coffee together.